Autumnfox (foxymoonheart) wrote,
Autumnfox
foxymoonheart

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Never alone

I'm feeling better today. I was feeling rather ill yesterday, ended up sleeping off and on all day, and ate very little. I think part of the reason is because I've been pushing myself so hard at work. Couple that with all the stress I've been having and unable to really release (really wish I could talk about it here, but I don't think I can, for various reasons). Anyway, as I said, I'm doing a bit better today.

I have tonight off, though I'm not sure what I want to do today. I was thinking of heading to the gym again, since I haven't been since last Thursday. It's amazing how long a "good pain" can last, heh. I'll be sure to not push myself as far this time.

I have an invite to go out with some friends from work tonight, but I'm not sure if I want to. My problem with being around coworkers is, I feel so fake. I can't really act the way I really am, because there's a certain level of expectation when being around them. It's important to be accepted in order to work by them. Already, there is one person at work who does not like me one bit (but then, she doesn't like a few others either, for no real reasons...) and that makes it quite difficult to work with her. Since I don't know how these "friends" from work would react to the real me, I'd rather not risk causing difficulties at my workplace. A dilemma, isn't it? I wonder how others have handled such things.

Not much going on at the moment, as I just woke up. brunbera's ferret, Spring, is wide awake, and enjoying her new three-level home, heh. The other two roommates are either at work or sleeping, so it's really just me here right now. That's alright, since I do take a certain level of enjoyment in solitude. Not all the time of course, but sometimes it's definitely nice.

I think I'll go for a walk a little later, in the woods. I really miss the large forests up in Maine, but these smaller New Hampshire ones will suffice for now. I don't think I could ever live in a place without them. Sometimes I think they're one of the few things that helps me keep my sanity. But then, I've mentioned previously that the woods are where I ran to when I was young. I suppose we all have defenses like that of one sort or other. Well, I'm glad to have them, I really am. Trees, especially maples, often make me smile.
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