The particular game I was playing yesterday is called League of Legends, which is based off of the PVP aspect of Warcraft 3, I believe... so it would probably help a bit in this case if I had ever previously played Warcraft 3, but I really had no interest in it... or a computer that could handle it at the time.
The entire game revolves around teams of 5 players vs 5 others on a mirrored map with three specific lanes that run from one base to the other, the idea being to destroy the other team's base. Every 30 seconds or so, a group of minor minions is released from each base, and they travel into the lanes at each other. The minions are perfectly even matched, and relatively weak, but if assisted they will eventually swarm the the other base.
So your role, as a much stronger champion, is to wipe out the opposing minions and keep pushing your minions toward the goal. The opposing team's champions are doing the same thing... killing anything gains xp, but killing an opposing champion gives a massive amount of xp and takes the player out for about a minute which pauses their xp and money gain.
Hence my problem with this particular game. The only way to level up is to earn kills. Support roles are useful, but support itself does not provide xp. There aren't really any defensive roles which would be my preferred strategy of block-and-counter... there are only different versions of offense.
And, since I'm not very good at it, I get killed easily by being trapped by two or three players. I get a time-out, they get advanced xp gains and level up... and I keep dying because I fall further and further behind.
I can play solo against the computer with a limited number of champions to choose from, but that doesn't teach me how to play against another player any better because the computer's strategy is very simplistic. The only way for me to actually get better would be to keep trying to play in random group matches ( I can't actually select the skill level I'm playing with or against, I can't really on any of these games)... and since I'm a very slow learner and keep dying, I'm a handicap for whatever team I'm playing on.
I wrote yesterday's post after the team I was playing on forfeited the game, and then told me not to come back... that they didn't want a suicide-junkie ruining their game.
Very rude, but part of it is true. My being a poor player in this particular game IS a handicap for whatever team I get placed on.
I'm actually not a good healer... I can't survive long enough to find other people to assist. I'm not really good at any character class or role, no matter what the game. My best role at any of these games is one where my job is clear cut and self-supported... so I'm not hindering anyone else.
It doesn't really matter what game I'm trying to play. I have horrid survival instincts, I'm a cautious player, I'm slow with my reactions, I need time to aim, and I can't process what to do fast enough when I predictably get swarmed. As games have gotten faster and more complicated, my ability to play them beyond a solo-easy mode has really gotten worse.
And regrettably, this isn't really anything new... I stunk at these games back in the 90's with Doom and Command & Conquer, and when multi-player gaming centers were first showing up in the strip malls. I stunk at team sports back when I was a kid and would be the last one picked as a handicap player... as in "Fine, we'll take Mocha, but we get a 10 point lead."
There are a lot of reasons why I learned to be fairly isolated... yesterday's attempt at playing just really stung. I want to be able to play these games with my friends because I really want to try to be more social, but I hate feeling like the annoying younger kid sibling always calling out "Wait for me, guys... hey, I can't keep up... slow down, I can't see what I'm doing!"
I think I should stop trying to play this particular game. I'm not having any fun, and I thought that was the whole point of playing a game. That whole "Its not whether you win or lose" thing... well, no, its not, but I prefer Shermy's quote from Charlie Brown's All-Stars. "Nobody wants to lose all the time... its depressing."
I just want what I used to have in the arcades when I was little... all I needed was a quarter, and on a good day, I could put my initials in the high score table for a while. I don't want to be the best, I'm just really tired of being the worst.
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