Autumnfox (foxymoonheart) wrote,

  • Mood:

Lost in the crowd

You know, I'm realizing that I often only add something to my LJ when I'm annoyed or cranky or whatnot. While it's probably good therapy, it's really not representative of who I am in general. Certainly it's true that I'm not a "happy" person, and that as the years progress I find myself more discontent in general, However, I'm really not as upset as often as some people seem to think.

Oh, and apologies for not keeping up with my LJ replies. I know there were many posts I should have replied to, both on my own journal as well as others I've been reading. I guess once again, I'm losing interest in things, and LJ is no exception. Don't be surprised if I disappear for awhile; I have a tendency to do such things. I also have a few educated guesses as to why that may be.

Headaches again.. blah. Maybe I should take Tibble's advice and see a doctor. I just don't trust them that much. Yes, I'm sure there are some great doctors out there, but then there are also some double-plus-ungood doctors. Well, we'll see. It's probably just migraines, or dehydration.

I had the option to go visit eddiecoon and keikan tonight, but I'm still not sure how I feel. I think I'm ill, actually. I guess everyone's going over to Fuzzy and their place for a cookout, and then I'm not sure what. By everyone I mean my roommate brunbera, as well as aceswild, Ronin and a few others. Eh, see, finally a weekend I might be able to get out, and I'm here ill. Besides, Tibs has to use the car for work tonight, so I'm kinda stuck. I suppose I could ask for a ride but, eh. I hate feeling "trapped" somewhere, and I don't like bothering others when I need to get back.

That's the thing that stinks about being an introvert. Extroverts seem to gain momentum and energy when dealing with others. Introverts tend to use up a lot of energy trying to entertain guests, eventually wearing them out. I tend to feel uncomfortable in groups, particularly of people I don't know so well. I guess that's why I never really got to know lobowolf or Tibor that well, though Brun visits them most weekends. Damned my shyness! I just never know what to say to people, and I often feel like the odd person out.

I think I need to work on being less sensitive also.

Oh well, I'm not sure what can be done. But then, heh, I tend to be quite an idiot when it comes to social matters. I'm a listener, it's what I do, and probably all I'm really good at in regards to social settings. I just need to learn to change my perceptions on some things, and maybe to open up a bit more. That, along with regaining interest in my hobbies and so forth, so I can stop being such a boring individual. Easier said than done, of course.

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