Autumnfox (foxymoonheart) wrote,

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Dukkha and schadenfreude

The past few days have been frustrating... Things just aren't going very well, and I'm not sure how to solve things. It's difficult to talk about matters without naming names or otherwise making it obvious who I'm talking about. Unlike certain others, I have no desire to make others look bad. So even here I feel unable to talk about how I'm feeling. If you're reading this, feel free to instant-message me about it. I would appreciate that a lot.

I will, however, just say this. It seems that, no matter how much progress I make, others are never satisfied. No matter how much I give, they always want to take more. I don't know of a comparable word in English, but in Hindu there is the word dukkha. That's usually translated simply as "suffering", but it contains many other connotations, specifically "the inability to be satisfied". It is suffering brought about because we are never satisfied, because we keep wanting more no matter how much we gain or are given. It is a common problem in our materialistic society, and the reason why even billionaires are unhappy.

I wonder why people always have to push others. Even when things are going well, they experience dukkha, and so push for more, causing unhappiness to the person being pushed, and sometimes back to the person pushing. I wonder why people do such things, knowing they'll suffer, or at least make the other person suffer. I know there are those who enjoy seeing others suffer. In German, that is called schadenfreude, taking enjoyment from the troubles of others.

But then, there are those who do not wish to make others suffer, yet they still choose to do so. I just don't understand that. Certainly, we all make mistakes, but to continually push someone when you've seen what happens when you do so... Then again, maybe even the kindest of people experience some level of schadenfreude, maybe it's part of the selfishness of human nature. That, or they are simply driven by dukkha and cannot control their behaviors. I'm starting to think suffering is an addiction for some.

Well, I'm no closer to answers. All I know is, things have to change soon. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep dealing with this.

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